Tinder is the New Dinner and a Movie

Did you know Tinder was released in September of 2012 and today has around 50 million users? Did you know that 79% of Tinder users are millennials? Growing up today is a lot different than it was for the generations before us, especially when it comes to our ways of communication.

tinder wedding cupcakes

Tinder allows users to swipe right or left according to if they are interested in the way the user on their screen looks. You are able to add a few things such as hobbies, or likes but the basis of the app if formed off of appearance. A keywords essay to look at when thinking about this idea is the keyword “image”. We all have a way of presenting ourselves, whether it be athletic, casual, or dressed up. We carry an image with everything we do because we want people to see us a certain way.

It’s crazy to hear my mom talking about dating in her time period. When talking about the way we Instagram and are judged merely on our appearance, she says “I would’ve never survived, it is too much pressure.” It is scary to think that we even consider finding someone to date on an app that is focusing on the way we look when there is so much more to a person than that. It is teaching young girls that they have to look a certain way, they have to be skinny, they have to get a lot of likes on their photos. We have turned into a society that doesn’t know how to communicate in person and has a hard time having a real conversation. My mom also brought up how in the past boys would have to call her house and speak to her parents first before they spoke to her. They would pay for dinner and a movie and have her home before too late, it was a different time.

By all means technology and the advancements with phones and computers have had positive impacts on our lives, but they definitely have taken away from our communication and sometimes what really matters. In “The Bluest Eye” Pecola wants nothing but to have blue eyes because she thinks that that would make her the ideal girl. What she realizes is what most people will realize at some point, and that is that true beauty comes from within.

12 thoughts on “Tinder is the New Dinner and a Movie”

  1. Interesting post! This is something I’ve thought about a lot in figuring out what my feelings about online dating are. I agree with you that it sets up a system in which we make snap judgements about people based on image. But, I think that in some ways we have always done that, whether it be in person or online. It has always been the case that image is often the first thing that people notice about one another when first meeting (at a dance or a bar, say). So, is making a judgment about a person based on their image in person any different than making a judgement about their image online? Truthfully, I’m not really sure of my own answer to that question!

  2. This post is very relevant to how technology has taken over all aspects of our lives. Also tinder is another form of media that reflects girls’ struggle with self confidence and body image. It is very difficult to be judged just based on the means of one photo, so I think girls in the 21st century struggle even more with self image than they did in the past due to the influx of social media.

  3. Great post about the effects of technology on dating and relationships. I think all of society was interested in the effects of growing up with technology for our generation. All of my relationships have pretty much started by meeting once in person through mutual friends, adding each other on Facebook, then texting as we got to know each other more. When we’d set up a time to hang out, it sometimes just wouldn’t work out because the guy seemed a lot different when having long conversations over text rather than in person. Tinder has taken the role of that first meeting site so that you don’t have to see someone face to face before you start communicating, you only see a few images of the person. I agree with your analysis of image and Tinder because people are competing for the swipe right just by whether or not they’re cute and not by personality. Technology has already affected our relationships through text and Tinder & it’ll be interesting to see how the effects will grow & change for future generations.

  4. I completely agree with you that society now places too much attention on outward looks, especially in the dating world. I also see social media leading to so much comparison between young girls. At an even younger age, girls can see these “ideal” and “beautiful” bodies on Instagram and try to emulate them. However, everyone is constructing their best image on social media and presenting themselves in a very polished way. When comparing themselves, girls forget to remember that they are comparing their worst self (the image in their minds) to this persons best self (the image portrayed on social media).

  5. I completely agree that dating apps such as tinder are praised for the innovative approach it takes on dating in today’s society. In some respects, I do understand how for many people dating apps and websites similar to tinder have made dating easier because you have access to so many people at the click of a button. What is being overlooked in these apps, however, is that many of them are strictly based off of your appearance and creates a shallow, superficial environment. Rather than focusing energies on meeting people, people are concerned with how their profile looks. This brings the dialogue back to self-image and the detrimental impacts media can have on self-esteem.

  6. I agree with your idea that technology has impacted the ways we see ourselves, and it can have negative effects regarding our self-worth. All these high standards of the ideal body are causing us to constantly feel the need to one-up others regarding looking the best. As a result, we are covering up who we really are on the inside.

  7. I agree with a lot of the points that you make here! In my own relationship experiences, and I think a lot of people would agree with, personality is a huge factor is what makes someone attractive and with dating apps such as Tinder, there is no opportunity to meet people if their first judgement about you is the way you look. It is also important to realize that people can choose how they want to be portrayed in social media and dating sights and often times it is not reflective of who they are. It is very easy to make a case that you are something that you are not, which causes a lot of problems for online daters. It is sad to think that one of the most popular way to meet people in our generation is through the other side of a phone or computer screen.

  8. I think your argument really kindles a very meaningful conversation. Tinder is one of the many ways we observe the growing importance of appearance in our modern society. We have seen celebrities being shunned by body-shamers; instagram models break down because of insecurity and dissatisfaction with the superficiality of appearance. I think this is an especially important conversation to have nowadays, as young girls are becoming increasingly engaged with the world of social media where they inevitably become more vulnerable to certain idealizations and standards of beauty. However, I do feel like there is a growing acceptance of appearance of all kinds, as such positive messages are often advocated by celebrities and other influential people.

  9. Your thoughts about the negative impacts of technology and social media are shared by many girls our age, including myself. Though platforms such as Instagram, Twitter, and even tinder can be seen as a way to express oneself, there are many side effects such as a skewed self-image and weak communication skills. Pecola’s story was very hard to read, especially in regards to how she viewed herself as “ugly” for not being white. It makes me wonder how she would fare if she lived in today’s generation, surrounded by photoshopped images and all kinds of racialized ideas of beauty.

  10. The pressure that our generation experiences with social media versus the generation before ours is very different. Social media wasn’t even thing for the generation before ours. Tinder especially draws on the idea of image. People are straight up judging someone else based on a few pictures of them. It’s unfortunate, and I think that it causes a decrease in self esteem among adolescents in addition to social media cites like instagram and facebook.

  11. It’s interesting that you decided to write about Tinder because this post makes me thing about the recent phenomenon on the Wisconsin snap chat story with “Vikings jersey guy” and “mystery girl”. One of the snaps that the mystery girl posted on the story was “Wow this works better than Tinder”. I don’t have a tinder, so I don’t know how it works, but I too have had the discussion with my parents about dating during their time and now. I think that people’s identity and image online can either make or break it when it comes to finding a relationship which is really unfortunate because that is all based on looks. If you choose whether or not to “left swipe” someone based on their looks, you may be missing out on someone with a great personality and that’s scary to think about.

  12. This article is very interesting to me because my cousin met her long term boyfriend on tinder! I am always surprised when I hang out with them and think about how they met- from just a few pictures and a short bio! I find it a huge coincidence that the people they decided to swipe left on due to a very few personal details, they actually ended up liking, and continuing a relationship with! I agree that the Keyword “Image” is very relevant to this topic because in it they mention that a second meaning of Image developed, and it was “Mental conceptions, including. . . seeing what does not exist as well as what is not plainly visible.” The people on tinder create an “image” in this sense of the word by looking at a short profile. They make up in their mind what does not exist to them/is not plainly visible (the persons personality). I also agree that because of social media, a lot of emphasis is put on looks to attract partners. This is due to the fact that the only way a potential partner can judge us on social media is by the way we look. I hope that as a generation we can find a way to make social media more “image” driven!

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